Day 339

“Pain lies. Depression lies. Most of all, despair lies.” -Anonymous

My life feels like when you’re taking off in an airplane. So noisy but nothing recognizable. You brace yourself randomly as the speed starts to freak you out, only to remember you’ve done this a dozen times before. Surrounded in every way but remaining as silent as possible to not disrupt the masses as they ignorantly live out their lives oblivious.
Why is that I live in fear of making waves?
I want to be like the ocean.
I want to crash down as my own waves peak. I refuse to just be seen and not heard. I will not be some filler statistic with no name that is flashed on the news during the down times. I am NOT ashamed of my grief.
This once again is the beginning of a pilgrimage. I refuse to let grief take me out. I will search it out. I want to find where all the cracks in me began.

I’m not scared anymore.

I’m coming for you grief.

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