Day 460

A year ago I was dying.

Fooled you didn’t I?

I was DYING.

Slowly.

In front of all of you.

Not in a way the world would consider a real illness but I WAS dying.

Terminal grief.

With no end in sight.

I decided in the month previous that I was going to live! For you and I. Which of course meant saying yes to any and everything. Fatal. Fatal flaw. A cruelty only I could have placed on myself. I decided to venture out.

I felt free.

It was lie.

The truth was I was free of Prescott. Of the box I felt smashed in each day. I love Prescott and always will but it nearly killed me. Looking back on this I cannot believe how far I have come internally. How little I valued myself then. The lost girl scrambling in a landslide. How easily I robbed myself of the very thing I spent my life searching for.

Me.

How grateful I am to still be fighting, struggling, thriving.

The thaw did come.

In time.

But barely. 😔

What a gift this last year has been.

A year ago I was days away from my rebirth.

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