My heart is so heavy
Sitting at the kitchen table without Tucker to try to steal the kids food is so foreign.
I actually miss him grabbing the chicken from Izzy’s hand.
Something that drove me nuts at the end of a long day.
On Tuesday my soul knew.
I heard my aunt and uncle had to let their own special soul go and immediately I saw Tucker’s face.
I knew then I had to do something for just him.
Gratitude and love are an action.
I got the kids from school and went to the store to get Tucker’s special treat.
They helped me look for the best onion.
Pick out the weirdest meat we could find. Heart, gizzards, and liver.
They each selected one.
I repeated with each selection that gratitude is an action so we are showing Tucks our gratitude for his time in our lives.
They are still too young to understand but hopefully with repetition it will just become part of their thought processes.
We came home and cooked for him.
He didn’t like it 😂
At least I can say I tried.
In the following days I caught myself numerous times glancing back to ensure I wouldn’t step on any paws as usual.
Placing the chicken on the tray I realized I was still accounting for Tucker pieces.
I thought of him as I opened my bedroom door suddenly aware of my thought process to always shut it behind me so he wouldn’t dig in my trash or possibly pee on my rug.
I thought back to years ago when I lived with my aunt and would refer to him as “boyfrannnndd”
Hours on hours of snuggles in a twin sized bed.
I was sad.
So very sad.
With loss comes regret.
I should have snuggled him more.
Not yelled as loudly.
Done more for him.
I am so grateful my children knew him.
What an amazing little foodie soul he was.
We love you Tuk Mon.
You will be more than missed.