“And you, you were the one I treated the worst.
Only because you loved me the most.”
You know those moments when you cry out to God?
“Please have mercy on me.”
” I am weak.
I am exhausted.
I have trusted in you and I feel FUCKING FORSAKEN!”
Laying on my floor I feel only the warmth of the sun peeking through the leaves.
The wind blows gently.
Yes, I know. Again.
“No” I mutter “let me stay here.”
This is not the end. Have you rested? You will need it.
“Oh hahahahahahahahahahahaHAHAHAHA like I am some pawn to be thrown around!?”
No you are meant for more.
Are you ready?
“That’s it. I’ve lost it.”
Staring at the ceiling
On my feet once again. I sway for a second. Regaining composer to my core.
“They will all think I am nuts.”
Good. Let me show you how to show them.
“Grace, I know you carry us.
Grace, and it was a fucking mess.
Grace, I don’t say it enough.
Grace, you are so loved.
This is the only thing I’ve ever had any faith in.”