Day 701

I wanted to say I miss the days when it was easy.

I wanted to but as soon as the thought crossed my mind I felt dizzy.

Deep breath

Deep breath

Grief is about growth

About becoming the very best .0 you could hope to be

Independently

Well somewhat

Does a ghost count?

What about multiple ghosts?

I wanted to say I miss the good old days

That would be a lie

I don’t believe I have had “good old days”

I have had days I should have appreciated then

I have had days filled with gratitude and laughter

I have overcome obstacles

Shed tears of happiness and regret

Someone like me though…

I have been incapable of valuing the good in the moment

See a spirit like mine is restless in the most peaceful of places

Always searching

Aching

Reaching for the unknown or known

I want to see, touch, taste, hear, breathe in all that this world has to offer

This does not lend itself to an even keel life

Just micro bursts of chaos

Positive or negative it all affects me the same

I am like butter.

Spread far to thin to not become one with the rough surface below.

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