Day 908

How long does it usually take to wake up?
I feel as though I have been waking up in larger ways slowly over time since 2012…. Maybe even before?
No 2012 was when I decided I would at least attempt to fight for me.

I was thinking about the act of waking up.
I set my alarm just so I can hit snooze a few times.
Every.
Single.
Workday.
Why do I feel the need to delay the inevitable?
I know I will need to be out of bed by 5:50 latest and yet I set my alarm for 5:15 so I feel I have more control over the situation…?
Is that it?
Control?

Each morning I get ready and then I walk into the kids room to get them ready.
The dynamic of this process waivers daily as well.
Somedays I walk in and Aj is UP! Sissy still snoring.
Vice versa obviously.
Then the WORST both still snoring.
I’ll catch one little eye slightly opening as she glares through tussled curls.

Izzy though?
If she has an emotion she wants you to feel, not just know, she is determined to make you feel the wrath of unstable waters.

Aj is more of a distance hater.
He will cocoon within his favorite blanket and ignore like no one has ever been ignored.

I think to the morning rituals of others.

My aunt used to turn on the coffee pot and go back to bed.

My grandparents enjoy making a breakfast together each morning.

My father without a doubt will be found watching news, drinking coffee, and having his daily eggs. His process for as long as I can remember takes HOURS 😂

How predictable we are as a species.

I wonder how many others hold strict rituals for the everyday or just one day.

I wonder what habits or rituals would benefit not only myself but my kids.. which ones are a detriment.

Jess…..
Find peace in the chaos.
Do you know how to do that?
Peace in the chaos.
Peace within your chaos.

“… All I want is freedom,

A world with no more night;”

– All I ask of you (Phantom)

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