Day 979

“My castle crumbled overnight

I brought a knife to a gunfight

They took the crown, but it’s alright

All the liars are calling me won

Nobody’s heard from me for months

I’m doing better than I ever was”

The calm descended like a warm weighted blanket while lost in an arctic tundra. I had a pivotal realization that I was attempting to prove my existence by screaming verbally but remaining silent. Pausing I asked myself why I am so quiet when I only hear constant chattering? What was the root of that fear? I spent all day holding my breath only to gasp for air every night. Why choose that? Because the reality is I was choosing even when it felt choice less.

With in this new outlook I have found such peace. I have retreated not in fear or despair but because I can sit with me again. What a beautiful experience this is. I am filled with unending gratitude for all life has give me. While not impressive on paper I am proud of my perseverance. This home, job, family, and love has been all I have prayed for. For how ever long it stays my path will have been worth today.

I am incredibly strong,

I know I am loved,

And I have never felt so enough.

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