Day 374

“They say, "You're a little much for me You're a liability You're a little much for me" So they pull back, make other plans I understand, I'm a liability Get you wild, make you leave I'm a little much for everyone” - Lorde Grief is so insidious. Giving you a mile when you ask for … Continue reading Day 374

Day 372

One of the things I respected most about Dave was the close relationship he maintained with his parents. He had not always been able to show up as the son he would have wanted to be. So he made sure to put effort in daily to be who he believed his parents deserved. It was … Continue reading Day 372

Day 370

Grief is ever evolving. It’s not just the initial loss. Though that is the picture we attach to said grief. It’s two to three losses a day. A hundred a month. And thousands within a year. It’s standing in line at the check out counter laughing to yourself about an inside joke you had with … Continue reading Day 370

Day 365

You need to write... You need to write Jess! I don’t know about others but when I need to write I NEED TO WRITE! I get shaky and the chills. My mind races. Until I open my notepad and begin. Like a creative flu. I’m at this point in my grief cycle where I don’t … Continue reading Day 365

Day 361

Sitting in a bed we had once shared together. That was our sons first “big boy” bed. The one that has a rock n rye stain in the right corner. Now sitting in your brothers old room. I was consumed with the thought that I would need to go downstairs. That is where I left … Continue reading Day 361

Day 359

You know those times where you realize what a strong woman you are but suddenly panic because you don’t know how you’ve done it. I can feel it like a surge in the ocean building power. What’s coming? Am I strong enough? Awakening colliding with killing I can feel the crash It’s like being drunk … Continue reading Day 359

Day 360

Slowly opening my eyes I pause to take a breath. You know where you are. Driving into the Detroit the tears just fell. Turning onto Gratiot I felt like there was no way I could do this. A swirl of coming home and complete fear. When did this become home? How? Fucking Detroit. You loved … Continue reading Day 360